The New Year arrives with a familiar wave of optimism—a chance to reset, reevaluate, and redefine our lives. For many, this season brings the tradition of making resolutions. Studies show that approximately 40% of adults set New Year’s resolutions, with goals ranging from weight loss to financial stability. However, by the time February rolls around, a staggering 80% of those resolutions have already been abandoned. Why do so many fail? Because most resolutions are goal-oriented rather than process-oriented, focusing solely on the destination while neglecting the journey.
Goals vs. Processes: The Journey Matters
A common resolution might sound like, “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to save $5,000.” These are admirable goals, but they’re also outcomes—final destinations that don’t account for the steps necessary to get there. A process-oriented resolution, on the other hand, focuses on the daily actions that lead to the goal: “I will walk 10,000 steps a day,” or “I will save $15 from every paycheck.” When the process becomes your focus, progress becomes inevitable, even if the ultimate goal evolves or takes longer than expected.
Time to Be Selfish
How many of us have set resolutions that focus on improving ourselves? Research reveals that most resolutions revolve around external achievements or fulfilling societal expectations: professional milestones, physical appearances, or financial gains. Rarely do we focus on changes that nurture us internally—changes that improve who we are. Yet, getting Selfish—truly prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being—may be the most transformational decision you make this year.
In my book Selfish: A Cardiologist’s Guide to Healing a Broken Heart I introduce the Selfish principles as a framework for building resilience and living a life of purpose. These pillars—spirituality, exercise, love, food, intimacy, sleep, and humor—are essential for achieving meaningful and lasting change. By committing to these principles daily, you not only improve your health and reduce stress but also gain the clarity to give back, get involved, and live a life of purpose.
The SELFISH Principles: Your Blueprint for Resilience
- Daily Spirituality: Begin each day with a moment of mindfulness or prayer. Connecting with something greater than yourself grounds you and provides perspective, even during challenging times.
- Exercise: Movement is medicine. Aim for daily physical activity, whether it’s a walk, yoga, or strength training. Exercise doesn’t just transform your body; it boosts mood, energy, and cognitive clarity.
- Expressions of Love: Acts of forgiveness, gratitude, and kindness are powerful tools for mental well-being. Love in action fosters deeper connections and enriches your relationships.
- Food: Nourish yourself with whole, plant-based meals that fuel your body and mind. Remember, what you eat today determines how you feel tomorrow.
- Intimacy: Build meaningful relationships that encourage vulnerability and trust. Intimacy—whether emotional, physical, or spiritual—helps combat loneliness and fosters resilience.
- Sleep: Prioritize rest as a sacred necessity, not a luxury. Quality sleep restores the body and mind, enabling you to face life’s demands with energy and clarity.
- Humor: Laughter truly is the best medicine. Seek joy and levity daily, even in the midst of stress.
Plan to Succeed by Killing the Plan
While resolutions and plans are essential, it’s equally critical to anticipate the landmines that may derail your journey. Life happens—unexpected obligations, setbacks, or even discouragement can throw you off track. Instead of rigidly sticking to a singular plan, embrace flexibility. Kill the plan means preparing for obstacles and having solutions ready. For instance, if your goal is to exercise daily, account for days when you’re too tired or busy. Maybe a 10-minute walk replaces a 45-minute gym session. The key is adaptability.
Planning for success means understanding that failure is part of the process. Each setback offers a chance to recalibrate and move forward with renewed commitment. Resilience isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about bouncing back stronger.
Get SELFISH to Give Back
When you focus on building your resiliency, you gain the strength to pour into others. By committing to the Selfish principles, you’re not only building a foundation for personal resilience but also creating the capacity to impact those around you. Whether it’s pursuing professional excellence, nurturing meaningful relationships, or giving back to your community, being selfish equips you to live a life of purpose.
This year, as you set your resolutions, ask yourself: “Am I focusing on the process?” “Am I prioritizing myself?” “Am I prepared for the obstacles ahead?” Commit to the Selfish principles, embrace the journey, and watch how your internal transformation radiates outward. After all, the best way to serve the world is by first building your resilience. This year, get Selfish—your purpose depends on it.
