As Mother’s Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on the women who carry families, careers, and communities on their backs—often while putting their own health last.
It’s time we change that narrative.
Many women don’t realize that they’re at greater risk than men for both stroke and dementia, especially as they age. In fact, nearly two out of every three cases of Alzheimer’s disease occur in women. And there’s a reason—one that begins with a condition that’s all too common but often ignored: vascular atherosclerosis.
Let’s explore how this condition silently affects the brain, how stroke and dementia are intertwined, and why adopting a Selfish lifestyle might be the most selfless gift a woman can give herself and her loved ones.
The Vascular Web: Atherosclerosis, Stroke, and Dementia
Picture your arteries as highways, delivering oxygen-rich blood to vital organs, including your brain. Over time, especially in the presence of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, or smoking, these highways can develop plaque, made up of fat, cholesterol, and inflammatory cells. This buildup is called atherosclerosis.
When this plaque builds up in the arteries leading to the brain, it can:
- Block blood flow, causing ischemic strokes,
- Contribute to vascular dementia, a form of cognitive decline caused by reduced blood supply,
- Exacerbate Alzheimer’s disease, through chronic brain inflammation and damage to small blood vessels.
According to the American Heart Association and American Stroke Association, these conditions share overlapping pathophysiological mechanisms—meaning they’re biologically connected, not just coincidental. Atherosclerosis doesn’t only threaten your heart; it impairs brain function by contributing to silent strokes, poor cerebral perfusion, and ultimately, cognitive decline .
Why Women Are More at Risk
While women tend to live longer than men, this longevity can come at a cost—more years exposed to vascular damage. After menopause, the natural drop in estrogen removes a key layer of protection from blood vessels. Coupled with often-underrecognized symptoms, women face delayed diagnoses, reduced access to aggressive treatment, and greater vulnerability to the long-term consequences.
Research shows that women with elevated stroke risk scores are more likely than men to develop dementia, especially when conditions like high blood pressure and diabetes are present . It’s also worth noting that women often juggle more caregiving roles and stress, which can compound these physical risk factors with emotional strain.
What You Can Do: Address the Root Cause
The best way to prevent stroke and dementia is to target the common denominator—vascular atherosclerosis—by addressing its risk factors.
This includes:
- Controlling blood pressure
- Managing cholesterol and blood sugar
- Staying physically active
- Eating a nutrient-rich, plant-centered diet
- Maintaining strong social connections and emotional wellness
These aren’t quick fixes—they’re lifestyle shifts. And one of the most powerful frameworks I’ve seen for creating sustainable change is what I call living SELFISH.
Selfish Living: A Lifestyle That Protects Your Brain and Heart
Selfish stands for:
Spirituality, Exercise, Love, Food, Intimacy, Sleep, and Humor.
Let’s walk through what each of these means and why they matter for women’s health, especially during midlife and beyond.
S – Spirituality: Grounding in Meaning and Purpose
Spirituality provides more than emotional comfort—it builds resilience, reduces stress, and improves cardiovascular health. Studies have linked a strong sense of spiritual purpose to lower inflammation and better outcomes in chronic diseases.
Prayer, meditation, mindfulness, or simply feeling connected to something bigger than yourself can help regulate stress hormones and protect both the heart and the mind.
E – Exercise: Movement That Heals
Exercise improves vascular function, reduces plaque formation, and stimulates the release of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein essential for memory and learning.
Regular physical activity also lowers the risk of depression, boosts sleep quality, and helps maintain a healthy weight—all critical in reducing the risk of stroke and dementia.
Aim for at least 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity exercise such as brisk walking, cycling, or swimming.
L – Love: The Healing Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude
Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s an action. Forgiving others, expressing gratitude, and engaging in acts of kindness have all been shown to lower cortisol, improve heart rate variability, and promote emotional regulation.
These effects don’t just protect your emotional health—they also strengthen your cardiovascular system and lower your risk of cognitive decline.
F – Food: Fuel That Fights Disease
A whole food, plant-based diet is one of the most powerful tools to reverse vascular damage. Foods like leafy greens, berries, legumes, and whole grains lower LDL cholesterol, improve endothelial function, and reduce brain inflammation.
Studies like the MIND and DASH diets show significant reductions in Alzheimer’s risk—up to 53%—when people follow these dietary patterns closely .
I – Intimacy: Connection That Strengthens
Loneliness is more than a feeling—it’s a medical risk factor. Lack of social connection is linked to higher rates of heart disease, stroke, and dementia.
On the flip side, strong social networks and emotional intimacy act as protective buffers. They improve emotional well-being, reduce stress, and even support immune function.
S – Sleep: The Brain’s Night Shift
While you sleep, your brain activates the glymphatic system—a waste-clearing process that removes toxins like beta-amyloid, the same proteins linked to Alzheimer’s disease.
Women are more likely than men to suffer from insomnia, especially during hormonal transitions. But consistent, restorative sleep (7–9 hours per night) is essential for brain health and vascular repair.
H – Humor: Joy as Medicine
Laughter relaxes blood vessels, lowers stress hormones, and improves circulation. Frequent laughter has been associated with a lower risk of stroke and dementia .
Embracing humor isn’t trivial—it’s therapeutic.
This Mother’s Day: Be Selfish in the Best Way
So, to every mother, grandmother, daughter, and caregiver—this Mother’s Day, I challenge you to do something radical: be Selfish.
Not in the way the world defines it, but in the way that heals your body and renews your mind.
Living SELFISH is how we break the cycle of silent suffering. It’s how we lower our risk of disease, protect our memories, and build futures we want to be present for.
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