Movies and TV shows love to make love look easy, don’t they? We see the joy of a baby being born, the spark of a romance, or the perfect wedding day, and it all seems so magical. But anyone who has truly loved—be it a partner, child, friend, or family member—knows that love is more than a noun; it’s a verb. Love is action, sacrifice, and, most importantly, commitment.
As we embrace February, the month of love, it’s a perfect time to reflect on the deeper dimensions of love. Love, in its truest form, is deeply connected to heart health. It’s not just an emotional or spiritual experience but a physical one, with the power to protect or harm our hearts depending on how we live it out. And among the many expressions of love—like words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service (as outlined in the 5 Love Languages)—one stands out for its profound impact on heart health: forgiveness.
Forgiveness: Love in Action
Forgiveness is the quiet, often unseen act of releasing anger, resentment, and bitterness toward ourselves or others. It’s one of the greatest forms of love because it requires humility, vulnerability, and a willingness to let go of hurt. Research shows that forgiveness is more than a moral or spiritual imperative—it’s a gift to our physical hearts.
Studies show that forgiveness has the power to heal the heart. In one research study, people with heart disease joined a special forgiveness program. After ten weeks, those who worked on forgiving others showed better blood flow to their hearts and fewer issues with stress-related heart damage. These benefits didn’t just happen in the short term—they lasted weeks after the program ended. ¹
Another large study reviewed over 100 smaller studies and found that forgiveness can improve both mental and physical health. Forgiving others can lower stress, reduce symptoms of depression, and even improve cardiovascular health by lowering blood pressure and calming heart rate. ²
Why Does Forgiveness Heal the Heart?
Holding onto anger and resentment causes stress, and stress is hard on the body. When we’re upset, our bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, these hormones can harm the heart by raising blood pressure, increasing inflammation, and damaging blood vessels. Forgiveness helps stop this cycle.
When we forgive, our bodies calm down. Blood vessels relax, and blood flows more freely to the heart. This improves the health of the endothelium—a thin layer of cells that helps keep our blood vessels working properly. By letting go of anger, we’re giving our hearts the best chance to stay healthy
The Forgiveness Challenge
This February, I challenge you to put forgiveness into action. Here’s how you can start:
- Forgive Someone Else: Think of someone who has hurt you. It could be big or small. Decide to release your anger and move on—not for them, but for you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay, but it means you’re choosing peace over pain.
- Forgive Yourself: Sometimes, we’re hardest on ourselves. Think about something you regret or feel guilty about. Instead of beating yourself up, remind yourself that you’re human and still learning. Show yourself some kindness.
- Practice Daily Forgiveness: Each day, look for small opportunities to forgive. Maybe it’s letting go of irritation with a friend or forgiving yourself for forgetting a task. Each act of forgiveness adds up.
- Write It Down: Keep a journal of your forgiveness journey. How do you feel after forgiving someone? Is your stress going down? Are your relationships improving?
- Celebrate Your Wins: At the end of the month, look back at the changes you’ve made. Celebrate the love you’ve shared with yourself and others through forgiveness.
Love as Medicine
Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give—to yourself, to others, and to your heart. By letting go of anger and choosing peace, you’re not only improving your relationships but also protecting your physical health.
This month of love, go beyond chocolates and flowers. Show love by forgiving. Your heart—both the one that beats in your chest and the one that feels—will thank you.
References:
- Luskin, F., et al. “Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger and Myocardial Perfusion Defects.” Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 2009.
- Fehr, R., et al. “The Health Benefits of Forgiveness: A Meta-Analysis.” Journal of Positive Psychology, 2010.
